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Most women do not take steps to protect their economic interests when they start a new relationship. Many of us do not want to imagine that the relationship will ever end, or that we could disagree about how to settle finances if we do break up with our partner. Many of us don't realize just how essential creating a financial agreement with the person we're in a relationship with can be. 

Talking about money with your spouse or the people you share finances with is important. But it can be difficult. It can be especially hard to talk about money when a new relationship is beginning. Most women do not take steps to protect their economic interests when they start a new relationship. Many of us do not want to imagine that the relationship will ever end, or that we could disagree with out partners about how to settle finances if we do break up. Many of us don't realize just how essential creating a financial agreement with the person we're in a relationship with can be. 

Even when you're happily entering a new relationship, it is important to 

• Plan ahead
• Know your economic rights
• Know what you're entitled to if your relationship ends

One way to protect your financial interests is to talk to your partner and write up an agreement. While it is a good idea to create an agreement when entering a new relationship with someone, you can write these agreements at any time.

Marriage contracts and cohabitation agreements

Married couples can enter into marriage contracts, sometimes called "pre-nuptial agreements." "Cohabitation agreements" are similar contracts for unmarried spouses. These contracts allow you to make legal decisions about your rights in a relationship and decide how you want to arrange your finances if your relationship ends.

Writing your own contract allows you to divide property in the way that best suits you even if it isn't what the law provides for married or non-married couples. For instance, although Ontario law doesn't include an automatic division of property between unmarried spouses, you can write a cohabitation agreement that would give you the same property rights as if you were married.

Compared to going to court and asking a judge to make decisions about your relationship, creating your own contract in advance is a more certain and less expensive way to determine the financial implications of a break-up. 

Some religious and cultural communities have traditional ways to discuss and negotiate what to do if a relationship ends. In some traditional forms of negotiation, relatives, religious authorities, or other community members can help create a marriage contract. These people can then be turned to for help if the agreement isn't respected. 

To be legally binding, agreements must be in writing. They must be signed by both spouses and by two witnesses. Witnesses don't have to be anyone in particular. Any adult can be a witness. Contracts made outside of Ontario may be valid in Ontario, but must be signed and witnessed. 

You can choose to file your agreement with the court. This makes it possible for a judge to enforce the contract if someone violates any of the terms. For more information on how to file an agreement with the court contact the Family Law Information Centre near you. See Where to get help when you need it.

Legal advice

You don't need a lawyer to write an agreement, but it is a good idea to get advice from a lawyer before you sign one.

If possible, each person should get their own legal advice from different lawyers. A lawyer can make sure that the agreement meets all legal requirements, and can advise you about the minimum rights that you are entitled to by law. For help finding a lawyer see Where to get help when you need it.

What to include in your agreement

There are certain things that the law allows you to include in a marriage or cohabitation agreement, and other things that can't be included. 

Custody and child support issues cannot be included in a marriage or cohabitation agreement. This is because issues related to the rights of children cannot be decided by a contract between parents. Custody and child support can only be decided after a spousal relationship ends. See Rights and responsibilities for child support.

Two people who are not spouses but who are parents of a child can create parental agreements. To be legally binding, parental agreements also need to be in writing, signed by all parents, and signed by two witnesses. Parental agreements can deal with things like a child's prenatal care, birth, financial support for the child, and how to raise the child.

What can be in your marriage contract or cohabitation agreement	What cannot be in your marriage contract or cohabitation agreement
How you want to share or divide finances while married or living together	Decisions about who gets custody of, or access to, children if the relationship ends
How to divide property if the relationship ends including how to divide rights to the matrimonial home	Agreement to give up rights to occupy the matrimonial home (applies to married people only)
How to divide pensions when the relationship ends	Distribution of more than 50% of the estimated value of a pension to a spouse
How much one person will pay in spousal support if the relationship ends	How much child support should be paid if the relationship ends
Who will be responsible for what debts if the relationships ends	Prohibition of a spouse from entering into a relationship with someone else

The checklist on the next page is a list of things that should be included in a cohabitation agreement, or in a marriage contract.

Changing your agreement

If you decide to change your agreement, you and your spouse will have to sign a new agreement and have it signed by witnesses.

If you no longer think the agreement is fair after your relationship ends, or if you and your spouse can't agree on how to change the agreement, you might need to go to court and ask a judge to settle the dispute. Generally speaking, the courts don't like to interfere with these legally binding contracts, but may under certain circumstances.

A court can make an order to change or set aside an agreement if:

• Your spouse was not honest about their financial situation
• You were pressured into signing the agreement
• You were physically or economically bullied into signing the agreement
• You didn't understand the agreement when you signed it
• The agreement is extremely unfair

A court may also agree to change the terms of an agreement if your financial situation has changed significantly from the time you signed your agreement. However, even if there are changes in your financial situation, it's unlikely that a court will change the parts of agreements that deal with the division of property.

What should be in your agreement? Use this checklist! 

Information to include	Include in a Cohabitation agreement or Marriage contract
Full legal name of all spouses	√
Date and place of marriage	√
Date you started living together as spouses	√
Full legal name and date of birth of any children	√
The address of the matrimonial home, or any places where you live together as a couple yes	√
List of property that each spouse owns, and the value of that property	√
List of the debts each spouse owes	√
List of joint assets that the spouses share	√
List of debts that the spouses share	√
List of things that each spouse inherited	√
How you want to organize finances during the relationship. Remember to specify: Will you have a joint bank account? Will you share credit cards? Who will pay what bills? How will you pay daily expenses?	√
Who will pay the rent or mortgage payments?	√
How you want to divide the property if the relationship ends. Remember to write What specific things will go to each spouse Who will care for which pets Will anyone continue to live in the shared residence?	√
How you want to divide debts if the relationship ends	√
How you want to calculate spousal support if the relationship ends	√
Whether either spouse has a will	√
Who will care for your children if both spouses die	√
What process you will use to update or change the agreement	√
What process you will use to resolve any disagreements that happen when you interpret the agreement	√
Did you have legal advice when you wrote the agreement? If you did, list the contact information for the lawyers.	√